Thursday, October 18, 2007

Revenge is Sweet


It finally happened at a milonga this past weekend. I know he's been watching me for the past 5 months. I have moved on since that painful and disappointing day. I was a new and naive kid on the block, getting picked on by a senior bully on the playground. I guess it never crossed my mind then that this sort of thing could happen on the social dance floor.

He was watching me; watching and waiting for that perfect song and that perfect moment. The second song of the tanda had just started when he got up from his seat across the room. He actually walked across the middle of the dance floor, while people were dancing. (talk about not respecting the line of dance.) I tried not to look directly at him, but I could sense him approaching with my peripheral vision.

"Oh my, I think The Tan-Ego is about to ask me to dance."

I've played out this scenario in my mind many times. Each time I saw him at a milonga, I knew it was just a matter of time before we'd meet again. The community isn't THAT big and I was making improvements in my dancing. There were so many things I wanted to say to him(...and do to him!)

A) I could be angry.

"What did you ask me you little f#@ker? Why don't you put on your Comme Il Fauts and dance with a pole instead!!!"

B) Kill him with kindness for the greater good of all mankind.

"Hi there, I don't know if you remember me but we met 5 months ago. I was a newbie and you were a bit hard on me. You may not have realized it but I was really hurt and it made me cry. Please be gentle with your comments to the beginners in the future. For the sake of preserving the art of tango, let's work together to build and expand this tango community. With that said, let's make up and enjoy this beautiful dance together."(head tilted and batting my eyelashes)

C)



Ugh! He's coming closer... only 4 seconds to decide!

(4...... 3...... 2...... 1)

"Would you like to dance?"

I was aware that the people around me were also watching him walk across the crowded moving dance floor. So I looked him in the eyes, paused then said in a clear voice,

"No, thank you."

He looked surprised then walked away with his tail between his legs. My impulse would have chosen response A, but I knew it was best to treat him like any other guy, whom I have no interest in dancing with. I also wanted him to feel the rejection that he so feared. He certainly wouldn't have felt that rejection, if he knew I was rejecting him because he had hurt my feelings. It is not up to me to help him fix his issues. I am just a tanguera, who wants to dance with her eyes closed.

After my final encounter with the Tan-Ego, I smiled and danced without a break for four sweet sweet hours. : )

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Eva, beginner followers must ALWAYS be told that it is the man's responsibility to lead everything, and thus, everything is the man's fault :-)

NYC Tango Pilgrim said...

Wow,Eva

That's a nice knee strike to the head, qualified for UFC highlight. Did you do that? :)

Revenge is sometimes (well, almost all the time) sweet, isn't it?

Happy dancing!!!!!!!!!!

TJ

Eva said...

Johanna, you're so right! Apparently, some men are not mature enough to handle that kind of responsibility.

TJ, I am seriously considering taking up martial arts, so I can protect myself from those jerks on the dance floor. ; )

Anonymous said...

What an amusing post! I've had similar thoughts run through my mind, I must admit. There is one particular man who got on my blacklist in the year 2003 for completely manhandling me and injuring my arm. Every time he sees me, he asks me to dance. I always smile and politely say "no thank you." I may have to go with option C at some point. Or maybe I should just pity his cluelessness.

Anonymous said...

Doesn't every tanguera/o with even just one hour floor time have a blacklist?

Just keep smiling and saying "no". Eventually they will give up or, hopefully, ask why you won't dance with them. That's when the fun begins :-)

Anonymous said...

Brava, sister, brava!