Tango on the Beach

In exactly 7 days, we will be on a plane heading to Miami, Florida.

Top 5 things on my packing list:

Bikinis
Flip-flops
Sunscreen
Tango wear
3 pairs of CIFs

We were originally planning to go to the Denver festival but, at the very last minute, the visuals of zipping champagne by the pool and tangoing by the beach won us over. So Miami Tango Fantasy 2008 here we come! This will be our first tango festival away from home. Interestingly, it will also be my birthday. I used to spend my birthday in Miami every year with a group of single girlfriends. Our vacation included staying at a fancy hotel, dining at the trendiest restaurant and dancing at the hottest nightclubs. Awww... so much has changed since I started tango. I've had to rack my brain to come up with good excuses why I can't vacation with them anymore. "Ohhh that sounds wonderful but I'm so swamped with work.".... "I would love to but I just don't have the funds right now." or "I wish I could but I think I'm coming down with the flu." It took me a long time but I think I can finally confess to them... "I don't want to go because I'd rather TANGO." To be honest, I've lost touch with a few friends because my idea of fun and relaxation no longer revolves around drinking and dancing with hot men. Well let me rephrase that.... it's more about the dancing.... with much less drinking and there'll almost be room for hot men (if they can dance that is). So I'm going back to Miami and, for the first time, I do not plan leave the confines of my hotel. It'll be all about the beach, the lessons and the milongas.

...and maybe we'll finally get to tango on the beach.

Open Air

He loves me. I am his hopes, his dreams, his life. He wants us to start a life together. He says he dreams of the time when he will learn to dance. So that I am his in every way. And not dance with anyone else.

Suddenly I am struggling for air. I am terrified. I felt the space rapidly closing in front of me. I can't do it.

I never had to think about this before. I longed to belong. I always thought that my desire for openness was a means to an end and would ultimately lead to a sweet surrender. Now I just need to feel the limitless space around me... Indefinitely. To have any possible tanda I want, any impossible tanda I dream of... Is there a successful union of love and our tango identity?

Is tango an expression of freedom? Does it represent our spirited nature, that side of us that refuses to be tamed??

I want it to be open, so open that the horizon can contain anything... So open that if I set my spirit free, it can go anywhere...

Time for Tango Rehab??

On the night of my usual milonga I am leaving the house for the airport to pick up friends from out of town coming to visit me. After a few seconds of hesitation, I run back and throw a pair of CiFs in my bag. Just in case.
Ok, wait! In case of what??? The plane having a three hour delay so that I can go dance a little?! I start realizing, for a thousandth time, how irrational this is. Have we gone too far? Is this normal?!

I dream about tango several times a week. I suffer withdrawal if I don't dance for a couple of days. I hear tango music in my head most of the time. I have 30GB of music on my ipod, but end up listening to about a hundred songs 90% of the time (yes, tango). When I hear tango music unexpectedly my heart skips a beat. No, several beats. On the way to a milonga I am more excited with anticipation than when going to a first date. I cross as I stop at a traffic light. I cannot even walk after hours of dancing, but I can surely do another tanda. I would (and do) cancel any other plans to dance. I get by on 5 hours of sleep on a regular basis. I pity people who have not experienced all this.

Even if normal for a beginner who is still in the tango honeymoon bliss, for me this has been reality for about a year and a half. Relentlessly.

Is it time for a Tango Rehab? Or should we just be left to our obsession? Has life ever had more colors...